Wednesday, April 20, 2005
4/20/2005 08:56:00 PM

A fren of mine keep sayin she's unhappy frm the day she is born. She feel no1 really understand her, the guy she like give no response to her, she don know wat her she wants in this world. One-day, she tried to make herself drunk, I stop her sternly.

Today, i recalled back. Suddenly, I feel like salutin her. Salute her for the braveness to realise n face the fact tt she's not happy all the way. Suddenly, for myself, I realise Im not as brave as her.. I avoid the truth tt in fact, im not happy at all, totally lost myself, lost my way to find the true happy me. I start to mixed up real & fake 'happy' in me, I tried hard to make myself think when is the day tt im really happy, the real smile and laughter tt came out frm me.. for tt moment, im scare, i cant find the smile, the laughter tt is real to me.. I cant differentiate d real & fake. All the while, I hide myself. Forcing myself to laugh & smile even no matter how unhappy im, resulting myself to have forgetten the real meaning of happy in me. I thought alot today. Really. I know, I cant b as brave as my frend.. I know i will be still hiding myself in a shell frm others.. I will sink deeper.. but still it's hard to really face up to d fact tt one person is not happy at all.. cos if 1 day i really face up to tt, i know myself, i will be totally defeated .. i lose the fight without struggling.

to tt dear frend of mine :
I salute ya braveness. But do make urself strong enuff to fight tt.. don lost ur way.. Happiness shouldn't be only coming frm BGR.. but it comes frm kinship and friendship as well. Those words tt we told u tt nite is called reality. Sorry to scold u tt ur naive but cos we're worried abt u.. we just wan u to realise the real reality out there, it's not those sweet sweet things u think. Cos when u get urself involve in 1 love relationship, things just won't be always sweet.. n no matter how say so easily tt u r willing to change for tt person sake no matter wat.. reality is not a fairytale.. u cant be an angel always.. "Words can b easily say but not done"
For tt nite i stop u frm drinking cos getting drunk won't make things be better, in fact, getting drunk when u feel sad, u won't feel happy frm tt, in fact even more terrible. Trust me cos i have been thru once, for tt 1 time, i swear to myself it won't happen the 2nd time. For tt, I make sure it won't happen to u cos it doesnt make u feel better at all cos we care for u.. don say we care is not impt.. only he care is impt to u.. cos its unfair to us n to u too.. take care..
Citation du Jour
To find the Unicorn again we must unlearn old lessons, seek new paths to familiar destinations, stop and listen to guidance we have ceased to hear and look deep within ourselves for right answers.

Princesse de licorne
Known as Xianz or Fanny. Born in 30th March. I strongly believe in karma. So be kind and generous to those who needs it. Learn to appreciate everyone before you start to regret any time. Love unicorn, they are special cause it represent my beloved Dad in heaven.


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