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Is there anyway to avoid 20 ! ! ??

I don't care how others look at me. Me |s Me. Im Me. All i care is my frends and
loved ones how they look at me. Fark off people if u duno who Im. This is the way
I behave, you don't agree with me, simply fark off.. stop spoiling people
relationship ! ! I have clear conscience.. nth to hide, there's no need for me
to seek ya permission for how i shld behave, u don't know me well enuff, so just
mind ya own business..! ass....

I don't like galz who think that r 1 kind of beatiful ladiees and always think
that people are always having their attention on them. Some galz are just so fake.
So materialistic. Its like without those attention, they feel so lonely. Fakey.. pui~

There's no1 in this world really understand me. NO-ONE ! Mayb its my fault cos
I just cant express my everything to others. I think one day, |m g0nna f|y away
& leave everythinG to yesterday.

we THOUGHT we know each other well enough

but the FUNNIEST joke is that

the BIGGEST barrier between us

are the UNDERSTANDING between us.

wat a joke.

We appear to be a happy couple but at our back.. no1 knows we aren't really HAPPY.

To talk things thru ain't so easily done. When a snowball start to roll without stopping, it will just keep gettin bigger.

I keepin havin hicupps now.. non-stop.. help ! !

Thou extrememly tire frm this few days work.. but i enjoy those moment cos everyday im with him..

Had a great time with baby today after work cos its been a long long time since we went on date on Sunday.. thou tire.. but i enjoy it very muchie.. miss u.

Recieved a damn idiot warning letter frm sch. With 1 more module added in -- DCCT. Asshole.. I mostly got attend his class.. don noe y like tt.. farkin ass... think of him... my whole mood spoilt.. farkin asshole.. *pui pui*

Extremely tire. Will update later wat Im busy at..

Ciao.

Bloggin early in the mornin huh.. hurrss hurrs.. was rearrangin my pics folder and almost 1 thing. ZY went for blood donation yester in sch. I hate seeing needle pokin into the skin.. it will make goosebump all over me.. but in another way, i salute to ppl who donates their blood cos they are saving ppl life.. mayb 1 day, we need blood as well.. and tts wonderful is tt ZY is a regular donor.. its his 6 /7 times alr, right.. huurr..

Oh.. back to my main intention of bloggin this.. its the bandage on ZY hand tt seriously attract me so much.. very interestin way for them to put the smiley face bandage on it.. ke ai~~



Back. Kinda lazy for bloggin lately. Slpin all the way. But thou slp alot but Im still late for classes everyday without fail.. but i won't be changing this habit.. haa. cos.. for sch is alright unless is for my dearly frendz and baby dear...

Days spent on these days are as usual.. nth much special.

Have another memeber to my hs. A new dwarf hanster which dearir baby get frm his frend.. but will post the profile of the her later.. haben really take the fotos of her and check the profile..

Bad cough r also stickin on me. I have been coughin like mad these days.. and it sound so bad.. no image at public but since i haf no image in class.. i can cough as much as i like in class ! ! Haa. I can be easily infested with any sickly bug nowadays.. suddenyl i haf so low immunity.. inm not like these in d past.. not so easily sick.. duno what happen..

Anyway.. nth much to say too.. post more when im more in mood..

To dearie baby.. thks for the time u spend to help me on my DCCT.. *muack*


| live in a shell.. Occassionally, pops out to show my happiness and inside the shell it filled with sadness..
Sometimes people who just suddnely msg me and tell me.. I know behind every smile you hide a pain... it always reminds me that how pathetic im..

| miss my dad.
When i miss him, I wept silently.
The scene he lyin on the floor motionless, flash thru me, | hate myself more.
No1 understand those regrets | had.
No1 at a||..

Once again.. | fall sick again.. with terrible running nose and fever comin to me. Let me get well ASAP ! ! | still have lotsa projects and assigments to finish up with deadine rushin to me like mad.. I nid E.N.E.R.G.Y

| think |m gettin strong as what | promise to my dearly frenz.. Ya.. much better nowadays.. mayb due to the busy schedule, time won't allow me to have allowance period to think of anything else.. |m crying lesser and the urge of cryin have been lessen too.. Hopefully, it goes well like this after my projects and exam..

| miss your hugs..
| miss your hand in my hand
| miss you terribly especially now im sick..
baby.... pls appear in my dreamz tonite..

Have you notice lately there's lotsa pink flower growing on the trees along the roadside ? ? Normally, outside my block, trees are all just plain or even "botak" not even a leaf hanging there.. but today, I pop out my head and a saw a sight tt it was so beautiful. pink flowers ! ! They were falling dwn the trees and the floor was alomost covered with pink flowers.. suddenly it seem not like Singapore.. haa.. anyway.. just feel curious why lately there's so many pink flowers growing on the trees..

Sly & Maia are married ? ?
Check out this link tt show they are married ! !

Have you ever wonder there's how much happiness and sadness that consist in your life now ? ?



Im totally restless today. The sick bug r irritating me.. making me feel weak all over.


To dear|e :



Watch a tv prog just now.. talks abt depression.. i think sometimes, myself have fallen into depression unknowingly.. but im relieved that im not to the serious case coz at least somehow, i won go into hurting myself phscially.. im still able to control myself. Crying to myself sometimes suddenly for nth do happen to me.. There's a gal who suffered depression & tend to cut herself said in the show : " You don't know who exactly are going into depression by just looking at their facial, some people lived in their outer image as bubbly, cheerful person but right inside they are just so vulnerable. " tts how cruel life can be. Yucky.

Tt AU SIEW HONG is pissing me off. A farking attitude he haf. | don noe how my other clazzmates think of him now but nvm.. I will attend your lesson as usual.. I will TALK at ya lesson as usual whenever | like.. I just won let your wish come true by throwing me out of the clazz.. my classmates are simply great that | cant bear to leave them.. The more you don wanna me to do it, | will do it more.. and ya wish for ppl to leave your class, nah.. | won't.. | will just stay at your class and c how ya display ya farking attitude.. even how piss off Im to you, i will just curse your asshole to be close and your shit will come out frm ya mouth. And ya, for your informaton shitty AU, ya damn farking "gd" attitude don deserve anything frm us, don keep sayin you don wanna our respect to attend ya claz or watever, coz for me, you r just a shitty asshole with no sex life, smelly mouth ASSHOLE ! ! La La La...

My mum decided to sell off this flat. Agent was called. Its a confirm thing, no joke. Somewhere in my heart.. i don bear to leave it.. it consist the last memories my dad left for me.. the sofa seat where he like to sit when watching tv, the area where he plc his rojak ingredients.. everything, everywhere... probably its' really a time they will b engraved in my heart and remember it only as "memory".. | really m|ss him.

|ts time for me to reply my taggers :

B|urz & Jo : | will be happy. | will live happily. | won think too much. Thks ladiess for these concern.. its swt~~ *muack|e*

YanZ : Im alright, thks for providing your shoulder for me. | definitely will remember this offer you given to me. Leave it aside 1st, if there's 1 day | need it.. I wan my offer to be back to me ! !

KM : Ya, I believe | will find the real me soon. God created me to be me. So Im what Im. I will find my soul back no matter what. thks qiwen.

Zai : its very true tt "words of console are easy to sae but hard to realise" but | do appreciate every1 of you tt carez for me. I'|| will stand up myself where | had fallen down.. thou there's injury but in time, it will heal and if ther's scar, | believe it is there for me to rem and learn the lesson frm there. thks za|.

Alvin: thou you din leave any message in the tag but those conversation we had at the msn.. i know somehow you are there to talk me thru.. thks alot.

To all my other frends, x|ao ma|, JK, c00k|e.. & more : Thk for everything too.. | will do as | promise. As wat c00k|e had sa|d, "to have those thoughts, you are not in d wrong, but the most imptly is to overcome them and not to be defeated by them. "






This song suddenly came out from the radio. You flash thru my mind. Its been so long | for me to listen to this song again.



I have frendz callin me to ask me this question so often : "Why being with you, you seem alright, happy and playful gal ?? Surprise to c u in those mood.. "
That what | appear to my frends.. a happy carefree person. I don't look like a person who really think those things alot. I can 100% say.. none of my frendz actually know the deepest side of me or even my mum, my dearie.. Simply NO-ONE.
I don believe in the so-called Best-frendz, good-frendz type.. those are bullshit to me. I only believe in between frendz there's no best or good "level".. there's should be no difference in treating any of my frendz.. its just depend how well you get along with your frendz... even if its Hi-Bye type.. you can still treat as the same attitude you treat to frendz who are real close to you. Tts wat | always believe in.
Times when I c others can just pour out their sorrows, all their feeling so easily to their another half & even to frendz, I envy them lots. See people who can have another person who knows what he / she is really thinking... they are fortunate. Mayb |m born to be this, whenever | feel like pouring everything to some1, within 2 sentence, I withdrawn myself. To share happiness and laughter NOT sadness.. tts what | believe will follow with me for my rest of my life.
Some ppl may feel Im fake.. mayb they think my thoughts here are fake cos | appear too carefree & happy in front of them.. but who cares for their thoughts on me. I don't give a damn.. Im not here to convince you to believe me..
But for ppl who are giving me lotsa encouragement & concern.. even a simple word of Take Care or Don Gib Up.. I appreciate it deeply.. really... THANKS.



Appreciate all my frendz' concern to me.

To find the Unicorn again we must unlearn old lessons, seek new paths to familiar destinations, stop and listen to guidance we have ceased to hear and look deep within ourselves for right answers.

Known as Xianz or Fanny. Born in 30th March. I strongly believe in karma. So be kind and generous to those who needs it. Learn to appreciate everyone before you start to regret any time. Love unicorn, they are special cause it represent my beloved Dad in heaven.

















































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